Hey Guys!

Sorry we have not updated in a while. Things have been getting hectic, as you can imagine with our new baby around. But we promise we will get back on track.

To that end I want to let you know that I have merged all the Pill sites into one. So now you can see all the Pill blogs at the same time, or just stick with you favourite subject.

Also, a login system has been set up, so you can join the site and gain access to pictures and the likes. But we want to have a degree of control as to who has access, mainly to protect our child's privacy. Hence we ask that before you register, make a few comments and make yourself known to us, so that we know that first, you're not some spam account trying to gain access, but also show that there is a genuine interest.

The new site will replace http://nomagicpill.org on Monday, so please be prepared to resubscribe to our new RSS feeds.

I promise this will be the last time you will need to do this.

Our baby girl is here now with us. Born on the 13th of May at 5:30pm. Sophie is 3210grams and 51cm.

We will get more information as soon as possible!

Right, it's official: Next week Tuesday I will be at the hospital - my values today weren't so great, so they're going to induce labor a bit before my actual due date. I am freaking out only slightly Are we even properly prepared yet? You know, it's not like we've had about 40 weeks to get ready...Anyhoo, it appears our little Munchkin doesn't think it's necessary to scoot downwards properly...she's still facing downwards like the good little fella that she is, but she just isn't far enough down yet. My doctor is hoping that'll change once I'm in labor, but honestly, at this point I am also prepared for a c-section to happen. As long as our little fella is fine, I will be fine. Tomorrow at ten in the morning I will see my midwife once more - she wants to give me an idea of what exactly will happen on Tuesday.

So this is the last weekend that the Laddie and I will spend as just a married couple...We're so excited to see our little Munchkin soon!! 

After one very emotionally stressful week, I went for another baby check up yesterday morning. Last week, I was told by my midwife that I'll most likely have to have a c-section done, as I am starting to show signs of a beginning gestosis and that's obviously potentially very dangerous for me and our little one.

I was shocked - of course I know that I should always be prepared for a c-section to happen regardless, but here I was told flat out that they would not even wait for me to go into labor, but much rather schedule a c-section ten to seven days before my actual due date. So many things started racing through my mind at that...it's posssible I'd have to get this done under general anesthesia (as getting a PDA can be difficult at my weight), meaning I would not get to see my baby being brought into this world (and neither would the Laddie), would not be able to move around for a while, etc. Not exactly as I'd planned...I spent this past week trying to come to terms with the fact that this is just how it's going to be and frankly had a really hard time doing just that.

Yesterday then, I was at the doc's again - I was so stressed out, my blood pressure was through the roof - I hadn't slept at all the night before and threw up a little while before the Laddie and I went to the practice. As always, I got checked out before I got to see the doc and was told my values unfortunately hadn't changed. I'd also lost 1.5 kg/3.3 lbs over the course of the last week, which of course I am not complaining about. Anyway, the CTG scan showed no signs of contractions and our fella seems to be doing fine, so it does not seem like she'll be here any time soon.

When I talked to the doctor about the c-section, he said that he would let me try to have our fella naturally, but if anything should happen - that's if my values should get worse before or during labor - he would perform a c-section immediately. I think in my position that's all I can hope for, so I am happy with this. Now I need to see that things don't get worse over the next little while and hope for the best. There's not much I can actively do to change things, but I was told to keep drinking a lot of water and rest as much as I can, so I'll focus on that. I'll be back at the doc's next week Thursday, at 38+1. Our little girl is now 52 cm/20.5 in and weighs ca. 3100 grams/6.84 lbs. 

Geez, things have been crazy busy around here lately! We're still trying to get everything ready for the baby, but it's not that easy, seeing as how little space we actually have available. So I have decided to just focus on getting the place organized and have given up on vainly trying to create more space. The Laddie and I will start looking at new apartments once our fella will be about 6 months old. 

I unexpectedly had to go into the hospital last week, because Munchkin had decided to squeeze some of my organs quite uncomfortably - I could not walk upright, so bad was the pain. They took all kinds of tests and in the end I was just given painkillers, as unfortunately there is nothing else that can be done when the fella swishes around like that. In any case, the doctor obviously wrote a report and, as I found out only later, stated in it that I was suffering from pregnancy diabetes and that the size of our baby's belly was three weeks ahead of what it should be, while everything else was developed normally. I was quite shocked, as my own doctor said before that my blood sugar was fine. I was really worried and went to speak to my midwife on the next day, when we attended a birth prep class she was giving.

Talking to my midwife, it was suggested that I get monitored for gestosis from now on and that I go to get my regular check ups once a week as well (it'd been once every two weeks before that) to catch any potential complications early on. She said all that because I've also started to gain weight rather rapidly, although I have not changed my eating habits and had only lost weight until a few weeks ago. By the time of the following check up, I had gained 2.5 kg/5.5 lbs in two weeks! Obviously I was really worried about all this, but the midwife said it'd be fine for me to get checked out properly during the next regular check up, so long as my blood pressure was ok.

The birth prep class was fine, btw. I still feel very uncomfortable about the whole PDA business, but I suppose I will try to keep an open mind for it. There is not much else out there to relieve the pain for a little while which won't affect the baby in the process, so...I am just worried they will do more harm than good because I am so freaking overweight. My midwife said that it would be good to be open to it and that she's only extremely rarely seen anything go wrong (and none of it involved paralysis), so I am really trying to be calm about it. In the end, nothing will be done that I don't consent to, anyway.

I found out today that a girl who also was in our prep class and who had exactly the same due date as I do is already in hospital giving birth to her baby boy. Scary, that...things are getting very real now. I will only be able to give birth at my desired clinic starting with the 24th of April, so I am hoping our little girl decides to stay in my belly a little while longer. 

Last week then, I finally had the first check up in my pregnancy where I felt actually taken seriously and reassured. I told my doc about the hospital worries and what the doctor there had written in her report. He took quite a while explaining things to me and measuring our baby's belly, etc. - right when he looked at the belly he said everything looks just fine, but that he would measure things to make sure. He showed me how he did it and said that our baby is perfectly fine - her belly and all. Such a relief!! He even said that some babies just do have different parts of their bodies developed differently - just like everyone does not look like everyone else. It wouldn't necessarily have to mean anything bad if the belly had been bigger - besides, he said the important thing here is to trust my other doctor. This doctor sees me on a regular basis and if he says that there is nothing to worry about with regard to my blood sugar levels, I should trust him.

Other than that, The Laddie and I are due to get a CD with new pictures of our little fella - I went and got some Baby TV done privately, as we haven't gotten any new pics since week 22 of the pregnancy. Unfortunately, the new pics aren't that great - I am just too far along in the pregnancy to get proper pics any more, but I wanted to try anyway. We also got another CTG scan done and the Laddie was able to hear our fella! It was all eally exciting and touching - even though our little girl on that day chose to kick and make waves in my belly quite wildly, making the midwife laugh, we could hear her fast little heartbeat.

I'll be back at the doc's on Thursday - I wonder if Sophie is getting ready to move out yet...

1. What is the pain in her chest?

2. What is the pain in her womb?

Lassie: 'So I have been getting these severe pains in my womb, what could they be?'

Doc: 'Hmmm yeah, go behind the curtain and I will examine you.'

'You really think you need to know everything, don't you?'

You know what, we don't want to know everything...When we try for another child, we won't even bother going in to see the doc until the Lassie gets contractions...I mean, why bother? We obviously don't need to know everything, do we?

Can I trade knowledge? Instead of knowing my baby's weight and size, can I get to know the meaning of life, the winning lottery numbers or what they do with their toilet business up in space? I mean, why would our baby be so freaking important to us!

Breathe...must...breathe...

He told us our fellas stats (43 cm/17 in, 1900 g/4.2 lbs) and *puff* was gone in a cloud of smoke. If David Blaine had those kind of skills, maybe he really could do some magic.

We would like to take a moment to thank you all for helping us out with your advice or just well wishes…It means so very much to us both! An extra special turbocuddle for the sweet Twix for her invaluable mommy advice and of course the highly appreciated offer to wring the weirdo doc's neck.

It's week 31 of this pregnancy and I have recently started wondering why this whole thing is connected to so much emotional stress and anxiety for me. In the beginning, I had expected to experience a very exciting and happy time over the next 40 weeks or so. Obviously there always was the concern I felt about starting into this pregnancy overweight, but I generally just saw a wonderful, wonderful thing happening and wanted to enjoy it. It did not, however, turn out to be as relaxed and nice as I thought.

I suppose I did not have the best starting position, as I indeed worried a lot, because I had already lost a baby and there were people around me who've had tremendous problems and tragedies happen with their first babies in the past. The Laddie and I were so incredibly, deliriously happy to be expecting our little fella - we just wanted things to be ok. We were certain that my doctor would be the one to reassure us, to tell us that everything was going indeed fine and that we needn't worry overly much.

Unfortunately, right from the start I felt that he did not take any time with me and gave me the feeling there was nothing special at all about being pregnant. I am well aware that he probably sees dozens of pregnant women every day, but in my eyes that does not change the fact that every single baby is a blessing and a miracle at the same time and should - to an extent - be treated as such. None of that ever happened, though. My doctor takes about 2 to 3 minutes to ask how I feel - listening to my answer while he is busy doing something else -, to tell me that I should lie down and to do a scan. Unless I nag and nag again, he will not tell me how big our baby is, whether she is developing fine and what exactly is going on altogether. Whenever I ask a question, he gives me the feeling it's somewhat of a nuisance to even consider answering and that he does not really have time for this, anyway. After 5 minutes, everything is done and dusted and I am always left with a lot of unanswered questions.  

At first, I would blame myself for being overly anxious and worried, as I know I am sometimes. But then the Laddie sat me down and we talked about it - how on earth would I know what all these changes in my body are? How should I know which amount of pain or discomfort was normal and when I should be careful or get worried? Who can tell me if not a doctor? When I read things in my books on pregnancy, shall I just self-diagnose and assume that my womb pains, at times crippling, are just one thing or the other and then trust my own judgement, thereby potentially risking our baby's health? My downstairs neighbour took that approach to her pregnancy and lost her baby boy through some circumstance that could potentially have been prevented (according to the docs)! In any case, I've had to move on, as my doctor just continues to refuse to relieve me of any of my worries. I do not expect anyone to hug me and be overly fussy with me, I just want a sensible talk about what's what. I want to be taken seriously and I want someone to take a minute out to assure me that what I am going through is perfectly normal!

So when our little girl did not seem to kick for an entire day, no matter how much either of us tried to entice her to move, we read in a book that if you do not feel your child kick as usual, go and see your doctor. When I did exactly that, my doctor just frowned at me and told me I was panicking. No comforting words or an explanation that it's all normal not to feel her for a while....nothing. That's when I effectively stopped asking any questions, as I never got any kind of satisfying answer about anything. Knowing I'd be seeing a midwife soon, I was hoping she'd be someone I could talk to better and who would help me get through all this without being condescending and disinterested. Over the course of the first seven months, I had sometimes talked to female doctors (in a hospital or when my doctor was away on call somewhere) and every single one of them was a million times nicer and more understanding than the doctor I've been with for the past 8 years. 

I've seen my midwife three times now - twice to look at the hospital I'll potentially be giving birth at (once without, once with the Laddie) and once in her practice. When she did not really engage in conversation the first two times, I just assumed that was because of the situation we were in - looking at birthing rooms and all. But when I went to see her a couple of days ago in her practice, I thought I'd finally be able to ask what the chest pains are that I've recently developed (once breathing got so difficult I almost collapsed), whether the horrible womb pains are still normal - I can't sit or lie without being in a great deal of pain and whether I should be doing anything in regard to my veins, as my family has a history of varicose veins and I do not have too great of a connective tissue to begin with, unfortunately. Apart from the fact that she seemed really distracted altogether, she just shrugged her shoulders and said she could not really tell me what the chest and womb pains are - she just assumes because a lot of things are changing in my body, some pain can be expected. She did not examine me or ask me where exactly the pains are and when I get them. In the end, she said I should take more Magnesium. She did not ask how much I am taking at this point (the maximum dose, btw). Also, only the pharmacist explained to me that I would have to take about 10 pills a day of a new type of Magnesium to get close to the dose I am taking right now and also that I should stop taking it about three weeks before my due date, because Magnesium actually stops contractions from happening. How very nice, I would have liked to know about that. 

Anyway, contrary to what I thought, the midwife said we'll only see each other again during the birthing class she'll be giving. It's a compact course of 8 hours, spread out over two days. Husbands are recommended to join in, but have to pay 110 Dollars to do so! Usually, these classes go over a time of about 6 weeks, so I have no idea how all the questions any couples might have should be incorporated into just 8 hours. Oh well.  

All my friends who've already had babies have had better treatment and service and also closer monitoring than I do. I will be going back to my doctor on Thursday the 20th, at 31+1 weeks. From 34 weeks onwards, I might get my CTG scans (my girlfriends have gotten them when they started month six of their pregnancies). Oh yeah, I feel really great altogether. I can't get my questions answered, have to basically read up on everything and just assume things are ok the way they are. Should I ever be so lucky to get pregnant again, I will definetely look for a different practice.

What a week! I am feeling extremely exhausted and stressed out. My body seems to be signaling me to slow down a bit - it would appear I am contracting all kinds of weird infections right now. For the first time ever, one of my eyes is severely inflamed. Now, I thought that wouldn't be too much of a big deal, but seemingly in pregnancy everything is.

I went to my regular check up yesterday and found out our ickle fella is now about 36 cm (14 in) long and weighs ca. 1120 grams (2.5 lbs). She's growing pretty fast, isn't she? Anyway, my doctor saw my swollen eye and told me to get it checked out immediately. Apparently that kind of infection can easily spread within your body and that's when our little girl would really be in danger. So off I went to see a specialist about this and he prescribed a sort of antiobiotic cream (which he said you're not really supposed to be using during pregnancy, cause it can potentially harm the baby, but he strongly advised me to use it anyway, cause the infection spreading would be way more dangerous at this point) and told me about several other things I can do to try and heal more quickly, like applying a wet and warm cloth to my eye every now and again. If things don't improve by the end of next week, I am to go back to see him.

Unfortunately I have been suffering a constant headache ever since the swelling began - whenever I move my eye it feels like someone is rather forcefully stabbing needles into the entire left side of my face. My eye is almost swollen completely shut and keeps tearing up. I have an important uni exam coming up in a few weeks, so I am basically reading all day. Not pleasant in this condition, let me tell you - amazing to see how often you actually move your eye throughout any given day.

Anyway, back to Munchkin News: Our baby girl is hiding somewhere under my ribcage, lying sideways. The doc says she still has enough time to move into the proper starting position, so she's perfectly fine to keep kicking downwards with her little feet, as is her wont. It's the teensiest bit uncomfortable as she always seems to be aiming directly for my bladder - as long as I can feel her kick, though, she's more than welcome to reposition a few organs or give them a nice new shape altogether.

We can finally pick up the pram tomorrow, yay! Makes this whole experience seem much more real somehow. I'm so excited that I am almost inclined to forget the huge amount of money we paid for this thing.

12 weeks to go - a load of things to take care of until then! I hope all is well with you out there.  

Nothing new to report healthwise, really. To answer your questions: it was Group B Streptococcus and some sort of anaerobic bacteria I was diagnosed with. Seemingly the latter is nothing to worry about at all, so it won't even be treated. I did, however, have to take Penicillin for five days in order to get rid of the other type of bacteria. I will be back at the doc's on the 27th, where they'll do another test to see if the bacteria are still there. While I am relieved that these things are treatable and seem to be quite common, I still do not appreciate the way my doctor dealt with all this. I really don't feel too comfortable with him in this pregnancy, but I think I am too far along now to just go and look for someone else.

I did not really get the chance to talk to my midwife properly this time around either, as the Laddie and I only went to see her in the hospital to look at the newly built delivery rooms (which look very cozy, btw). I'll see her again in two weeks or so, this time at the practice itself. Maybe that'll be a better place to talk.

So time is getting on and we're almost done with our baby-related shopping. Since this whole shopping experience has not been as fun for me as I would have liked, I am quite happy about that, too. German baby stores just plain suck. Running back and forth between stores just to find the basic things on our list has really exhausted me. I ended up ordering most things online, as that turned out to be somewhat cheaper and also involved much less hassle. In any case, there are only a few things left on my list and I am hoping to tick them off within the next two weeks.

Now that we got all the baby stuff here, we're starting to sort out the apartment as well. Both the Laddie and I are extremely frustrated with our living arrangements right now, as we're living in what in Germany is called a  two room apartment. Besides a tiny bathroom and kitchen, we only have a living room and a bedroom (both equally tiny) to call our own. This basically means our ickle Munchkin will not have her own room until we move into a bigger apartment. Poorest fella! I hope it'll be ok for a little while.

We've been looking for a bigger apartment for a while now, but so far have had no luck at all in finding anything. Three room apartments seem hard to come by and if you actually do find something, they're generally way above our budget. If we had somewhere around 800-900 Euros (ca. 1200-1300 Dollars) to spend per month, we'd be ok, as there are a few more things available in that price range. Seeing as how this kind of rent would leave us with virtually no money at all to spend on anything else, it's just not an option. You see, wages in Berlin are generally lower than elsewhere in Germany...600 Euros we could probably manage to pay at a very big stretch, but that's really it. Within this range, you will find two or three apartments available every week and they're usually either gone very quickly or have something seriously wrong with them. There are, of course, districts in Berlin where you could easily rent a bigger apartment for 500 Euros per month, but that would be at the cost of general safety. I just can't imagine moving anywhere with a high crime rate. 

So we're still looking for a new apartment, but we're not holding out too much hope. Accepting our current situation for what it is, the Laddie and I will now sort through all our things. We'd like to reorganize our cellar to be able to store more stuff there, thereby hopefully creating more storage space in the apartment itself. Tricky, that.

We've finally decided on a name for our little one, too. We've browsed through a load of books and in the end decided to choose something classic: Sophie. She'll also hold my mother's and the Laddie's grandmother's first names in addition to that.

Off to do some research on bilingual upbringing. Hope you're all doing well!